When a Map Is Not the Territory
“That which is essential never imposes itself. Love is always offered, never imposed.” — James Finley
This wisdom has become a touchstone for how I hold the Enneagram — and really, any model of human growth. Theories and frameworks are scaffolding, not the essence. If I begin imposing a theory on someone, I’ve stopped serving the essential and started serving the theory.
The statistician George Box once said: “All models are wrong, but some are useful.” That line applies beautifully to the Enneagram. The Enneagram isn’t a tidy, finished system carved in stone — it’s an ongoing conversation. Over the years, teachers have added layers and theories to make sense of what we see in real human beings: wings, arrows, instincts, subtypes, countertypes, and more. Each is a map, not the territory.
Take Dr. Beatrice Chestnut’s use of the term “countertype.” It describes when a subtype of a number [one’s leading number on the Enneagram of Personality + one’s dominant instinct of three: Self-Preservation, Social, or Sexual/One-to-One] expresses itself in a way that looks very different from the typical stereotype of that type. Within her framework, this language is incredibly useful. It explains why not every Type Four looks moody, or why not every Type Eight is forceful. But “countertype” is not the Enneagram itself. It’s one interpretive lens within Bea’s school of thought.
One of my beloved teachers, Peter O’Hanrahan (Narrative Enneagram school), used to remind us: theories are made by humans trying to solve a problem that puzzled or even annoyed them. If their theory helps you, use it. If not, you’re free to set it down. That freedom is essential. Because the Enneagram, at its heart, is not about believing the “right” theory. It’s about verification and learning to trust your experience. It is all about becoming more open to the movement of Holy Love and its facets within and all around you.
So when you encounter a new model, theory or Enneagram concept, try this: hold it the way unconditional Love holds us. Offered, never imposed. If it resonates, wonderful. If not, let it pass. The point isn’t to collect theories — it’s to grow in compassion, presence, and freedom.
Reflection for the Week
Where in your life do you tend to “absolutize” a theory, model, or framework — expecting it to explain everything? Can you experiment this week with holding your models more lightly, using what helps and letting go of what doesn’t?
I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever found an Enneagram idea (or any other framework) that really resonated at first, but later you realized it didn’t quite “fit”? How did you discern what to keep and what to set down?